Have you ever thought about how worldly relationships can pull you away from God? They could be familial, platonic, or romantic. Is your family unfaithful? Do your friends try to make you do sinful things? Does your boyfriend become your idol? Are you more excited about your date on Friday than worship throughout the week? Do you talk to your boyfriend more than God?
When I was a sophomore in high school, I started dating a guy who is of the baptist faith. Now, that did not scare me because I, too, was raised in a baptist church. I was converted when I was 14 by the sweet girl who runs this website (sorry, shameless plug). I thought that if anyone could get through to him, I could because I had been through it. I wanted so badly to teach him about God because I loved him. Also, the Bible tells us multiple times to teach others. Matthew 28:19 is a common example; it says, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” However, what I did not realize was that I had started backsliding and pushing people away instead of teaching the gospel. Even worse, I started making excuses for myself. I tried to justify living in sin. I pushed away my best friend (the one who led me to Christ in the first place), my parents, my cousin, and saddest of all, my Creator. For what? A boy who was pulling me further and further from God.
You see, a relationship can be toxic spiritually, as well as mentally and physically. When you start to idolize other people, and even things, instead of God, something has to give. You cannot live in sin and enter the kingdom of Heaven. Revelation 3:14-22 talks about the lukewarm church. Verses 15 and 16 say, “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot, I wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.” The Laodiceans straddled the fence, and God said He would “Vomit them out of His mouth.” Think about that soda you drank that was not hot, but was not cold either. It didn’t taste too good, did it? Remember how it made you gag? That’s how it makes God feel when we are lukewarm. Back to my point, do you continue to idolize your relationship, or do you follow God? Luke 9:23 tells us to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him daily. You cannot reap the benefits of heaven later if you do not put in the work now while you are on earth. If your relationship is causing you to live in sin, you either end the relationship or put a stop to the sin.
So why think twice about dating the boy who you are interested in? “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:2). The only man we absolutely NEED in our lives is the one who is preparing a place for us with Him in eternity (John 14:3). I am not saying relationships are bad, everyone seeks acceptance. We all crave love. However, they can be bad if you care more about your boyfriend than your Savior. So my advice to you is to worry about getting yourself to heaven. Worry about pleasing God. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” When you put Him first, you will get the MAN He sends for you, not the BOY you think you want.
How will you know that he is the man God intended for you? There are many attributes of a godly man in the Bible. Here a couple that are very important for any godly relationship. I challenge you to read through these, but also search for yourself for other attributes of a godly husband. In order to find a godly man, you have to know what to look for.
Does he LOVE God’s word?
Does he diligently read it everyday? Study it? Delight in it? Does he meditate on it? Does he love its counsel and reproof? Does he talk to you about the Bible? Does he defend the Bible? The following verses talk about “loving the law” and His word being “worth more than food.”
Psalm 16:8; Psalm 119:97; Job 23:12; Matthew 5:6
2. Does he LIVE God’s word?
Does he not only believe in God and His word, but try daily to live for God? Does he seek to do what is just? Does he stop and ask himself what God would want him to do in every situation? The following verses tell us to be “doers of the word.”
James 1:22; 1 Timothy 4:12-15; Galatians 2:20
Lastly, run toward God as fast as you can and if someone can keep up, stop and introduce yourself. This advice came from a great friend who has an amazing passion for Christ. Someone whose fire burns so bright it would put the sun to shame. That is what we should strive to be like. Do not worry about earthly relationships, worry about your relationship with your heavenly Father. Philippians 3:8 says, “Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ.” Learn as much as you can about Him, seek truth. Whatever you have lost in the name of Christ, will not compare to what is in store for you.
Proverbs 1:7, Job 28:28, and Psalm 119:66 also say similar things about seeking knowledge and fearing the Lord.
My prayer for you is that you will heed these words. That you will examine yourselves so that you may become closer to Christ. I pray that you will seek love in your Savior, not an earthly relationship. I pray that when you meet the one He has in store for you, you stop and introduce yourself. So, will you choose him or Him?